What I wish people would understand about “Year 2”


  1. I was really grateful for your support in the first few days and weeks, but settling into the ‘new normal’ is also really hard; despite how it might look on the outside.
  2. I love talking about him, I always will.
  3. I am utterly lonely sometimes, even when people are around.
  4. Being a single-parent with an involved co-parent isn’t the same as being the “only” parent. I am not saying this doesn’t have its own challenges but it is entirely different – please don’t compare.
  5. I still don’t know how to answer “how are you doing?”. My answer will almost always be “o.k”. I feel like I need to insulate you from the real answer (sometimes).
  6. I am happy for your happiness but it often makes me gut-twistingly envious at the same time. It’s hard holding these two feelings at the same time.
  7. Any linear pattern of grief you’ve ever heard about is absolute tosh. It gets “different” and you adapt to living with it. It doesn’t go, nor would I want it to; it’s the price of love. Lots of love is, in grieving terms, very expensive.
  8. Sometimes you tell me I’m doing “Very Well”. I don’t know what this means or how to react to it.
  9. Snakes and Ladders is the board-game that most accurately describes my emotions most of the time.





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